“What does this blog mean to me?”

Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! 

For it is my blogging anniversary!

Two years old and still filled with glee!

Happy Birthday to me!!!

Happy Birthday to me!!!

Hi Guys, 

So if you haven’t heard today’s my blogging anniversary. I am amazed how time flies by, although I do wish I hit 1,000 followers by this milestone, I have learned so many things from blogging, so I thought I’d write a post titled, “What does this blog mean to me?”

 

“What does this blog mean to me?”

Ahh Blogging, the new trend for millennials. A space we carve out just for ourselves, away from the prying eyes of those we know. Or right smack bam in the centre with all it’s luminous spotlight shining on you; tanning your face with it’s glory. See, everyones different, we all blog for different reasons and with different goals in mind.
Whether it’s just a hobby or a hopeful future career whisking you away from your current dreary nine to five, there are a few linking factors between us bloggers, rounding us all together even if it’s with a thin worn out string.

We all write.
We type and we dream.
We allow our voices to be heard; open ourselves up to an often cruel world.
But we try and try to put ourselves out there. Our passions guiding us the way.
With all too many doubt from others, we type and type away.

Stop wasting your time online they say. Entitled lunatics we appear, to believe that our voices are to be heard, especially in a  world that seems so big and daunting. In it our voice feels so quaint and distant. So many more people have lead much more interesting lives with the ability to provide more for the world. I question myself often on this journey “Who am I?”, “Why would anyone read my work?” Even if my voice were to be heard, what would it say? Who would it impact?

“What does this blog mean to me?”

I have realised I am a perfectionist but not the kind that their need for perfection drives them to success, but the kind that failure pushes them into a deeper and deeper hole. Yet I found myself taking a chance and starting a blog. It is true, the world is a big place filled to the brim with billions of people with louder and more powerful voices but something inside me yelled do it. Have fun and if you fall and fail, no one is here to witness it.

“What does this blog mean to me?”

When I was younger I loved to draw and read. I was always burrowed in a book and finished all the books available to me at the time in the library. But as I grew older, like a lot of people I parked the books elsewhere and I put down my pen and threw away my colouring pencils and let the dust clutter around joyful memories of old hobbies.

Why?

Maybe I just felt like it was time to grow up. I looked around me, and the level of others at secondary school was very different from primary school. What’s the point on working hard at a mere drawing, when the finished product wouldn’t be good enough?

What’s the point of reading a book that I wasn’t going to be tested on? I thought it would be better to stick to what I needed to do in school rather than what I wanted to do?

And where did that leave me?

I was still a mediocre student but with no creative outlet. Far from the perfection that craved to be. I felt everything was tainted by what the teachers expected of me. Spending hours on an essay and getting a C, or working hard of a painting and then getting a B was demoralising.  I never wanted to see an English book and ran away from art class as soon as I got the chance.

The first poem I have ever written was on this blog. I already had created a lifestyle blog with my friends but this my secret space, all to myself. Blank. Ready and eager.

For the first time I listened to the words in my head and allowed them to speak, no longer just mere background noise.

Then, something unexpected happened. Completely out of the blue.

I hear a bing and then another, then another.

I peeped on my phone to see what it was. Another junk mail I presumed. But no, a notification. ” X liked your post”

Me? My Post. For the first time I felt capable. Valued.

Who knows maybe those people were just bored and didn’t even like the post, maybe they were just on a liking spree, but to me it meant everything.

So… What does this blog mean to me? A question that I have repeatedly placed in odd places throughout this late night reflection piece.

It means I have a safe space. Where I can grow and grow. Not confined by my fatal need to be perfect or by the standards placed on me by others but for me just to be me.

Have fun and not be pressured to make life altering decisions.

What does this blog mean to me?

It means I’m allowed and free to develop into who I am meant to be.

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